The first time I saw the pianist Brad Mehldau in person, playing with a pick-up rhythm section at the Pizza Express in the early 1990s, I was astonished by the intellectual and technical power of his playing, and by its emotional impact. The version of “Moon River” he played that night lives with me still. He was in his early twenties, still with boyish looks, and he sounded like the next thing in jazz piano. A couple of dozen years later I booked him and the tenor saxophonist Joshua Redman, his contemporary, colleague and friend, to play at JazzFest Berlin, where they gave a duo performance sensational in its virtuosity, interplay and, again, emotional depth. I had no real idea of the back-story to these two performances.
Back in the ’90s, Mehldau was in the grip of heroin addiction. By the end of the decade he had freed himself from that prison without bars and found a new life. Sharing a stage with Redman in 2016, he was reunited with a contemporary who had finally lost patience with him 10 years earlier, kicking him out of his quartet just when they were achieving recognition. That rejection was one of the factors that eventually forced the pianist to take the action that saved him.
On the subject of addiction and the jazz life, the first volume of Mehldau’s autobiography, titled Formation: Building a Personal Canon, is as harrowing as anything I’ve read in a genre that includes Hampton Hawes’ Raise Up Off Me, Art Pepper’s Straight Life and Peter King’s Flying High. Here’s how he introduces it: “There are detailed descriptions of drug and alcohol abuse in this book. I want to stress that, although I describe the pleasure of using them, I hope I will have shown that they were a mistaken path, one that injured me and almost took my life. They are part of my story. I do not know why I survived when close friends of mine did not. Perhaps because of that, I feel an obligation to tell that story honestly.”
The book is dedicated to three of those young friends who did not survive, and whose stories — using only their first names — are interwoven into the tale of his own childhood, upbringing, schooling and early experiences in the jazz world.
It’s a serious book, sometimes obsessive in pursuit of its themes, in which Goethe, Rilke and Kierkegaard are often quoted as the author describes his search for meaning and beauty. He is sufficiently comfortable with such concepts as gnosis and teleology to deploy them without explanation. Dream sequences are occasionally reconstructed to illustrate his youthful anxieties, particularly those concerning his sexual identity. A publisher wanting a more commercial book would have winnowed many of these passages, removing repetition, but one imagines the accumulated weight of testimony is what Mehldau wanted, perhaps as an additional form of therapy — or as part of that obligation “to tell that story honestly”. For a sympathetic reader, it works.
There’s music, of course. No shortage of it, starting with a description of his youthful tastes, which incorporated an unaffected love of several kinds of pop music — particularly British prog-rock, on which he is clearly an expert — alongside his developing interest in jazz. There’s an abundance of how it felt while he was discovering his musical character, absorbing his influences while at school and college and eventually learning directly from the elders. The rewards of first-hand exposure to pianists of an earlier generation, such as Hank Jones, Tommy Flanagan, Barry Harris and Cedar Walton, makes good reading, as does his veneration of another one in particular.
“There was a whole swath of us piano players who were trying to play like Wynton Kelly,” he says. “Sometimes, someone would simply play a whole stretch of one of his solos, transcribed from a beloved record. Normally, that kind of thing would be frowned on, because it went against the principle of improvisation, but here the fellow piano-players who knew the solo as well would nod in approval. I did this with several choruses of (his) solo on ‘No Blues’ from Smokin’ at the Half Note. I still quote from that solo regularly. It’s a bedrock of joyous swing, melody and badassed fire all at once.”
Drummers have always been important to him. Listening to Elvin Jones and Ed Blackwell, playing with Billy Higgins and Jimmy Cobb, he’s alert to the attitude and the nuances of their playing, to the way it sits within the beat. “Blackwell’s drumming changed everything for me,” he notes. “He showed how you could play in a formally unhinged context, yet create your own shifting grid, one with simplicity and integrity which nevertheless moved easily within the free current of the music.” He makes the point that while listening to such great jazz musicians on record is one thing, hearing them in person is quite another.
He dives into deeper currents, too, employing his appreciation of aesthetic theory drawn from the likes of Theodor Adorno and the literary critic Harold Bloom (compiler of The Western Canon). “Where to find oneself as an over-thinking, aspiring jazz musician? Music, in its steady abtractness, would not supply a road map. Literature has been the closest analogue thus far. At its best, it used language to break out of language, into something more like music.”
Characteristically, he uses the example of James Joyce and Thomas Mann to discuss the dichotomy between music of the flesh and music of the spirit, embodied in the contrast between Miles Davis’s In a Silent Way and John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme, both of which he quite properly venerates, just as he does Joyce’s Ulysses and Mann’s Dr Faustus.
“Of course, Miles wasn’t only carnal any more than Coltrane was only spiritual.” he writes. “Yet each led to one pole in my experience of listening to them. I began to have an aspiration for my own output: to close the gap between the divine and flesh, to reconcile sexual and spiritual ecstasy in the musical expression.” He finds an answer in Ulysses.
In jazz-historical terms, he’s fascinating on how it felt to come up in the late ’80s and early ’90s, working alongside the Marsalis-led revival that was supposed to use tradition to blow away the allegedly stale irrelevances of the avant-garde and fusion music.
“‘Postmodernism’ was an explanation for anything and everything,” he remembers, “but it was a term that seemed to eat itself, as it tried to account for the breakdown of linear history in linear, historical terms. In a way, it had no utility, by its own definition. Perhaps that lack of utility was embedded in its meaning, though, and the idea was to start from a place of no meaning. The old set of integral tools did not work. They no longer constructed anything whole. The ’90s were all about coming to terms with that. In that process of reckoning, there was ultimately a strong creative input from all quarters. But it took a minute.” And there was certainly a resentment, directed at the Marsalis brothers, to be worked through.
The narrative ends with Mehldau on the brink of rescue from the fate that had long been beckoning. You know it’s coming, of course, but on the way to his redemption he spares us nothing of the squalor into which his life descended in just about all its aspects — including, for a while, even the music. It’s a gruelling narrative, and a brave one.
* Brad Mehldau’s Formation: Building a Personal Canon, Part One is published by Equinox (www.equinoxpub.com)
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