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Every beat of my heart

This is the bass-drum head from the kit I used as a member of an R&B band in 1964-65. Last week, two days after I’d taken it to the recycling centre as part of a general clearout of superfluous possessions, a mid-evening collapse on a platform at St Pancras station saw me in an ambulance, where a pair of paramedics gave me an ECG that showed I was suffering from cardiac arrhythmia.

What kind of a drummer, even an ex-drummer, suffers from arrhythmia? To injury was added insult.

I was admitted, via A&E, to St Thomas’s Hospital, directly across the river from the Houses of Parliament. For the first four days I was in a ward on the seventh floor, in a bed by a window giving me a view across the Thames that would cost you £5,000 a night were it a hotel room. At some time during those first four days under the care of the National Health Service the monitor showed that my heart stopped for four seconds — I thought only Aretha Franklin could do that to me — and then restarted itself.

Long story short, there was another episode that led to a rush into the Intensive Care Unit, and from there a day later to an operating theatre where a cardiac pacemaker was installed. My problem had been caused by bradychardia: the unnatural slowing of the heartbeat. The pacemaker will ensure that it won’t fall below 70 beats per minute. In a couple of months, a second procedure will lower the safe limit to 60bpm.

That sounds like a nice, steady, medium-pace lope, which probably suits me now. And thinking about it set me to imagining the possibility that one day, when you have a pacemaker fitted, it might come with a variety of settings, based on the characteristic approaches to tempo of great drummers. Naturally, I thought of jazz drummers.

Which button would I want to press? Elvin Jones would be too turbulent, Art Blakey too disruptive, Tony Williams too hyperactive, Tyshawn Sorey too unpredictable. Sunny Murray? Not sure I’d want my heart to run on free rhythm. If I were younger, I’d opt for Billy Higgins, not least because, along with that amazing sense of lift, I’d probably get, as an extra, the lovely smile he always wore. But I’m not young. So the graceful swing of either Kenny Clarke or Jimmy Cobb would do for me.

Anyway, the point of this profoundly self-indulgent story is that between one Sunday and the next I spent part of the time wondering what our elected representatives were up to in the big building on the other side of the river and the rest of it marvelling at the astonishing amount of kindness and consideration shown towards me by the skilled, wise and compassionate NHS staff whose job was to save the life of someone hitherto completely unknown to any of them.

I didn’t get the name of the young female maternity nurse who was getting off the same train and immediately came to my aid, or those of two more fellow passengers, a pair of young women doctors, who stayed with me until the ambulance arrived, or those of the two paramedics who took over, made the initial diagnosis, and decided that St Thomas’s would be the best place for me, or that of the doctor who triaged me in A&E and sent me up to the seventh floor.

But thereafter I did start writing down the first names of as many of those who helped me as I could catch: nurses, doctors, cleaners, cardiologists, electrocardiologists, radiographers and others. Those names, unsorted by function or rank but in more or less chronological order, give a sort of a portrait of the health service that is a riposte to those both working hard to destroy it and to divide us by undermining the stability of our post-colonial, multicultural society. Here they are:

Abdul, Melody, Beth, Eva, Cielo, Jonathan, Alma, Lily, Simran, Isaac, Angelo, Favour, Aba, Aboudin, Lina, Mehari, Precious, Nabila, Chris, Parth, Tracey, Izabela, Konstantinos, Serena, Gloria, Anoup, Shawza, Rawlston, Diego, two Clares, Richard, Sabeen, Emma, Terry, Elorine, Nikki.

I know the NHS is under strain and imperfect, and I’m aware that it was my good luck to find myself at St Thomas’s. But while I was waiting to be sent home on Sunday, the doctor in charge of intensive care at the hospital walked past on his rounds. I told him that while it had been in most respects the worst week of my life, it had also been among the richest. I’d been given an unexpected opportunity to experience and be grateful for human relationships in public service — comradeship among workers, empathy for strangers — at their best. Something I’ll never forget.

132 Comments Post a comment
  1. garyparkinsonmedia's avatar

    Beautiful. Firstly, glad to hear you’re recovering. I haven’t been in such grave danger but I often feel profoundly grateful for the NHS; on one occasion, queuing with hundreds of others for a Covid vaccine, I was moved to quiet tears by the unfussy way people just Got On With It in the service of their fellow humans.

    And now, with our daughter in her final year of training to be a doctor, we can give something back to this institution we all sometimes take for granted, but for which we should all be so thankful.

    September 9, 2025
  2. johnaltman2014's avatar

    Wow – stay healthy!

    Sent from Outlook for iOShttps://aka.ms/o0ukef

    September 9, 2025
  3. Jesse Norman's avatar
    Jesse Norman #

    Dear Richard

    Very sorry to read of your illness. This is to send you all best wishes for a full and rapid recovery.

    TBM continues to be a great joy, for which a massive thank from me — and I am sure all your many devoted followers.

    As ever,

    Jesse

    September 9, 2025
  4. lollapaloozaelectronic160fcd464c's avatar
    lollapaloozaelectronic160fcd464c #

    Where you list various drummers, I’m surprised that you don’t mention Milford Graves, who specifically studied the similarities between cardiac rhythms and those of drums and percussion. Have you seen the documentaries about him? As for Sunny Murray, I’ll just refer you to this essay:https://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88v/kerouac-per-coolidge.html

    September 9, 2025
  5. Keith Cameron's avatar

    Wishing you a full recovery, Richard – here’s to the NHS and a medium-paced lope.

    September 9, 2025
  6. Tony F's avatar
    Tony F #

    That is, as ever, a terrific piece of writing Richard and all the more significant by being from (and about) the heart. Very moving, too. Have a good recovery.

    PS – maybe not Brian Blade either for those future pacesetter adjustments. He’s way too explosive!

    September 9, 2025
  7. Sid Griffin's avatar
    Sid Griffin #

    A very moving reading. My wife works for the NHS or should I say in the NHS.

    September 9, 2025
  8. GF's avatar
    GF #

    Phew! Glad you made it. My experience of the NHS is similarly amazing. Keep scribbling Richard. Hope to see you at concrete club in the not too distant future.

    GF

    September 9, 2025
  9. jwagnew's avatar

    What a lovely article, Richard, and I hope you are well on the way to a complete recovery. Having spent quite a bit of time in hospital recently I support everything you have said about the NHS and the dedicated people who, despite all its problems, make it work. Might I also suggest Paul Motian and Jon Christensen as aides to recovery?

    September 9, 2025
  10. Peter Rowan's avatar
    Peter Rowan #

    Good Luck Richard – a beautifully written piece

    September 9, 2025
  11. Peter Brown's avatar
    Peter Brown #

    Gerry Atric and the Pacemaker. Nice piece, Richard, as always, with sentiments we all share. Stay cool, boy.

    September 9, 2025
  12. Saverio Pechini's avatar
    Saverio Pechini #

    lf l were you l’d opt for a Joe Morello device . ( Oh , and don’t get weird on us again , please !)

    September 9, 2025
  13. zabriske74's avatar
    zabriske74 #

    I’ve recently spent two weeks in hospital with a severe kidney failure that came out of the blue. I received wonderful care from St James’s Hospital in Leeds. The view from my ward wasn’t as good, but every other aspect of my experience mirrored yours. I absolutely agree with you about the NHS and all those who work in it and their dedication and kindness, against all the odds.

    September 9, 2025
  14. Phil Johnson's avatar
    Phil Johnson #

    wishing you a speedy recovery and a long thereafter…very moving piece as always

    September 9, 2025
  15. blijvendvertrek's avatar

    Dear Richard,

    I’m so glad you got the care you needed, and thankful as well for the people that gave it to you.

    Wishing you a full and rapid recovery.

    Davy from Belgium

    September 9, 2025
  16. Pete Judge's avatar
    Pete Judge #

    what a lovely piece of writing, maestro, about what must have been a pretty terrifying experience. Very glad you’re out the other side now. Here’s to some Jorge Rossy -esque restorative brushwork…Sending all the best

    September 9, 2025
  17. johncrosby195041c7d617b9's avatar
    johncrosby195041c7d617b9 #

    Get well soon, Richard. I had a near fatal heart attack — my only one — in 2005, aged 55. I’m now 75 and, after my angioplasty op and two decades of meds, I’m pretty fit and healthy and creative What I’m saying, I guess, is the NHS is a wonderful thing and cardiac problems don’t have to be progressive. Continue to love your writing. ❤️❤️‍🩹

    Sent from Proton Mail for iOS

    September 9, 2025
  18. Vgermaise@optonline.net's avatar
    Vgermaise@optonline.net #

    Richard!!!Thank goodness you’re alive! Howard and I were just talking about you. I said that, if we ever get back to London, I want us to go out for a night

    September 9, 2025
  19. Johnny Bull's avatar
    Johnny Bull #

    What a great story, and a beautiful tribute to these hard-working and wonderful people.

    I had a similar scare last year, and after I phoned 111 with rather vague symptons, 20 minutes later my flat was invaded by two paramedic women who told me I was having a heart attack, put me in an ambulance and drove, blue lights and sirens from Shaftesbury to Royal Bournemouth Hospital whereI was expected, and had a stent fitted.
    I wasn’t at all frightened; I felt like a stooge in the hands of two effortlessly accomplished comedians.

    They waited until the procedure was over just to make sure I was ok.

    Naomi and Tyra, I’ll never forget you!

    Also, maybe Paul Motian?

    Keep well, dude.

    September 9, 2025
  20. Rune Kristoffersen's avatar
    Rune Kristoffersen #

    Very touching and well written, as always.
    All the best forward, Richard.

    September 9, 2025
  21. mick gold's avatar
    mick gold #

    Wow! Take care, Richard. What a beautifully written piece and what a tribute to the best multi cultural UK has to offer while assorted lunatics continue to pour on the gasoline.

    September 9, 2025
  22. ODD BJERKE's avatar
    ODD BJERKE #

    All the best from Oslo, Richard! I hope for a succesful recovery and that you will be able to enrich our lives for many years to come. Stay strong!

    September 9, 2025
  23. lewisdave3's avatar
    lewisdave3 #

    Take very good care of yourself, Richard.

    Oh, and nobody can BEAT your column!

    Very best wishes,

    Dave Lewis

    September 9, 2025
  24. Grahame Painting's avatar
    Grahame Painting #

    ♥️

    September 9, 2025
  25. martinfoyle's avatar

    Don’t throw Ralph Peterson Jr. in the mix just yet. Great to hear you’re on the mend. Twice my 90 year old dad has been hospitalised this year. Each time I’m in awe of all the medical personnel who have been so good to him. Take it handy boss.

    September 9, 2025
  26. howard thompson's avatar
    howard thompson #

    welcome to a club you’d rather not be seen dead in. So happy to see you pulled through with the help of some good people. Such a good piece, Richard, and glad you picked a jazz drummer and not Phil Taylor (as if!)

    September 9, 2025
  27. Edward's avatar
    Edward #

    Glad you are on the mend. Like you I have recently experienced the full joined up NHS in practice. My wife, who recently died from stage 4 lung cancer, received such care that you would think that she was their own loved one, rather than just another patient. Keep on keeping on!

    September 9, 2025
  28. Clive's avatar
    Clive #

    Blimey Richard!! Glad you’re ok. Lovely piece

    September 9, 2025
  29. Clive's avatar
    Clive #

    Blimey Richard. Glad you’re ok. Lovely piece

    September 9, 2025
  30. zygnyxanthos's avatar

    What an uplifting and positive story in these turbulent times. May the force be with you!

    September 9, 2025
  31. nickebarber's avatar

    Hi Richard. Wishing you many more years of rhythmic heartbeats. What a great tribute to the NHS and the travelling public.

    September 9, 2025
  32. Stuart Penney's avatar
    happilyjovial3cb30550f7 #

    Anther excellent piece Richard. I was there too and wrote this account

    https://open.substack.com/pub/stuartpenney/p/jimi-hendrix-at-the-isle-of-wight?r=l0fur&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

    September 9, 2025
  33. Gary Kahn's avatar
    Gary Kahn #

    Dear Richard

    Wishing you all the very best for the future. You write so beautifully about everything you have just been through.

    Gary Kahn

    September 9, 2025
  34. John Porter's avatar
    John Porter #

    Richard … A very unpleasant experience…so pleased to know that you’re ok. I had heart surgery a coupla years back and had many of the same feelings about rhythm, time etc , also the kindness and efficiency of everybody who calmly went about their business in the beleaguered NHS. The Newcastle Junco’s were among my best pals when I was at university there, used to sit in with them often when i was in the Gas Board.. I knew there were some Junco Partners in Nottingham … didn’t know you were one of them. Stay healthy, wish you all the best … with a Philly Joe, a Jimmy Cobb, a Sid Catlett possibly a Dave Tough and definitely a Zigaboo just for good measure. Much love. John Porter

    September 9, 2025
    • Mick Tarrant's avatar
      Mick Tarrant #

      A great read and a wonderful salute to our multicultural NHS and the kindness of strangers. Pleased to hear the procedure went well.

      Drummers…….why not Al Jackson or Howard Grimes, they both kept perfect time.

      September 9, 2025
  35. willedare's avatar

    What an intense, thoughtful and beautiful blog post. Hurrah that you got such good care and hurrah for your caregivers!

    September 9, 2025
  36. Victoria A. Germaise's avatar
    Victoria A. Germaise #

    Richard!!!
    Thank goodness you’re alive! Howard and I were just talking about you. I said that, if we ever get back to London, I want us to go out for a night on the town with Richard Williams. I sit at the kitchen table, reading your morning-after musings – which are so rich, I feel like I was there!
    Be patient with yourself as you recover. Modern medicine is pretty damn amazing. I had open heart surgery one year ago. Gives one a new appreciation for breathing.
    Please continue breathing.
    With love and wishes for a speedy, smooth recovery.
    And many more nights out.
    Vicky Germaise

    September 9, 2025
  37. Bill Dickson's avatar
    Bill Dickson #

    Relieved and delighted at your recovery, Richard. Last September Annie [Mrs D] experienced an identical heart stopping event and diagnosis, the same expertise & heart touching kindness. She’s enjoyed a complete recovery post-pacemaker and adds her warmest wishes.

    Cheers to the NHS; ….. and it’s got to be Klook … … … …

    Bill D

    September 9, 2025
  38. Keith Wood's avatar
    Keith Wood #

    Very sorry to hear your news but glad all worked out. Hope you have a speedy recovery. Thanks for all your writing and of course this beautiful piece. All the best. Keith.

    September 9, 2025
  39. George Burt's avatar

    Another wonderful piece Richard. Thanks! This chimes precisely with my own experience of the good old NHS. I had a cardiac bypass operation this time last year, at the Golden Jubilee Hospital in Clydebank. It’s a converted luxury hotel and conference centre, with stunning views over the River Clyde and the Kilpatrick Hills. I agree completely with your views about the people that make the NHS run. I tried to remember the names of the people who looked after me so kindly and so well, but I was too dim to write it down, and I was spaced on Industrial level painkillers most of the time, so it’s all a bit of a blur. A huge variety of people, from many different backgrounds. The only common factors were their professionalism, kindness, intelligence and humanity. My main nurse in the High Dependency unit was a young woman who was from a London Salvation Army family. She had come north to marry a Scotsman who was a Sally Army Officer. She played tenor horn.

    My sympathies about cardiac arrhythmia. I had one episode of it when I was asleep one night which woke me up in the same way that being thrown off a cliff would wake you up. A group of concerned drs and nurses were poking at the controls of my external pacemaker while making soothing noises at me. Things have gone well since, thankfully; I remember promising myself I would follow all the post-op routines and instructions to the letter, since the NHS had made such efforts and expense on my behalf. Best wishes for your recovery! Look after yourself! Take all the advice that’s on offer!

    (BTW, Neil Armstrong had a pacemaker. And he played Tenor Horn. Pretty good piano player too..)

    September 9, 2025
  40. Stuart Batsford's avatar
    Stuart Batsford #

    brought a tear to my eye. Glad you are on the mend Richard. Sail on Sailor.

    September 9, 2025
  41. cadillacrecords77's avatar

    Best wishes Richard and quick recovery. I always associate heartbeats with the bass rather than drums (too many cymbals and clatter!), in which case I’d want to be wired up to Charlie haden I think, circa Soapsuds Soapsuds…

    September 9, 2025
  42. Tony Platt's avatar
    Tony Platt #

    One of your best pieces of writing Richard – so heartfelt it has left me quite moved. Nevertheless, strangely optimisic!

    September 9, 2025
  43. John Gray's avatar
    John Gray #

    Very moving, Richard. I hope that you feel better soon. Well done the NHS.

    John

    September 9, 2025
  44. Richard Lee's avatar
    Richard Lee #

    You remind me exactly of my stay in that ward with that view, except I failed to recapture the experience with such eloquence and humour. I did however feel the same for the wonderful cosmopolitan staff and thank you for dedicating this to them. I’m so glad you’re on the road to recovery: may your pacemaker put the same spring back in your step as my stents did.

    PS… Best new spin on drummer jokes ever!

    September 9, 2025
  45. Stewart Gunn's avatar
    Stewart Gunn #

    How to turn an unfortunate event into an inspired, and inspirational, piece of writing. My wife stayed in the maternity tower block after our daughter arrived unexpectedly. As you say, a spectacular view, and wonderful care from dedicated people.

    As far as a drum setting is concerned, you could do a lot worse than Jaki Liebezeit, the ‘human metronome’ who could also provide wonderful flourishes as required (a bit like your writing).

    Glad that you’re on the mend, and in good spirits.

    September 9, 2025
  46. Bill Dunster's avatar
    Bill Dunster #

    Dear Richard

    This has probably been the best Blue Moment I’ve read. Glad you’re on
    the mend and here’s to many more years.

    Bill Dunster

    September 9, 2025
  47. nfxa113's avatar
    nfxa113 #

    Hi Richard,

    this is not a ‘profoundly self-indulgent story’ at all – although it is typical of your modesty to frame it as such. It’s an uplifting account.

    I wish you well as you adjust to your new rhythms.

    September 9, 2025
  48. Trevor Buck's avatar
    Trevor Buck #

    Great piece on a horrible time, Richard. Stay healthy.

    September 9, 2025
  49. woodn55's avatar
    woodn55 #

    I had a similar experience of the NHS recently, though not heart related and I felt exactly as you do. Until you come face to face at a moment of need you have no idea of the depths of compassion and care shown by NHS staff. Get well.

    September 9, 2025
  50. Apu Alam's avatar
    Apu Alam #

    This is a profoundly moving piece. Wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.

    September 9, 2025

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